Saturday, August 25, 2012


I don't have much inspiration today. I'm a little overwhelmed.
The house that I blogged about a week ago was inspected last night. There are some major things wrong - some deal breaker things.
The seller has told us that he would fix what needed done, but I'm not sure he knew how much needed fixed - like the furnace and the electric!
I'm asking simply for prayer today. We will get the report today and have to decide what to ask. Then if the seller doesn't want to fix those things, we will have to pull out of the deal.
I know that God has a plan for us. I know that he will hold us up and sustain us. I know that he has a place for us.
We just need the path to be laid out.
Thank you in advance!

Thursday, August 23, 2012


I am a planner. I like to plan everything - my day, my week, my meals, my year, my husband's year... You name it and I'll find a spot for it on the calendar and start the to-do list. God just spoke to me about this!
My husband and I have been married for 9 years and our son is going to be 5 in November. I have never had the chance to be a year-round stay-at-home mom. I was always home in the summer time, but when school started I logged lots of hours! In that 5 years, we had another baby, my husband worked at a part time ministry position, and we both got masters' degrees. My necessity I had to plan things out.
Now, I'm a stay-at-home mom. It's about to only be part time, but for 2 and a half days a week, I will be home with Hadley. I realize how quickly those hours can fill. I have volunteered to coach our school's volleyball team. I also will be helping with my son's class a couple days a week. All of a sudden, we aren't home so much.
So today, I started to plan. I started filling out my calendar, planning "hard to cook" meals on days I don't have games, figuring out when my son will want hot lunch at school... It all started spinning in my head. Then God reminded me of Matthew 6.Verse 34 says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." 
I spend so much time worrying about what's going to happen tomorrow and how to plan for tomorrow, that I miss out on events today. If I spend this evening, planning for tomorrow so that I can have time with my kids tomorrow; then I won't have time with them today! Chances are that I will spend tomorrow planning for the next day and miss out on time then. 
The challenge that I have given to myself is to relax and worry less about the future. I know it is sensible to plan ahead, but not at the expense of the plans today.

Sunday, August 19, 2012


I know that I have posted about learning to depend on God and not my husband. My husband is tangible and my best friend - not to mention, he's a wonderful protector and sounding board. For the month that we lived apart, I learned quickly that I had to pray through things because I couldn't call him every time I needed something.
This weekend I had social networking drama - a friend unfriended me - and my husband was at a church event. I was going to the event, but I had to wait 2 hours before I would get there. I texted my mom to ask her about it, but I also prayed.
Can I tell you that, as soon as I got to the event, I forgot about the ENTIRE thing?!?!? I didn't remember until I walked back in the apartment and saw my computer. I told my husband about it and we really ended up laughing. God gave me so much peace about the situation that it didn't even cross my mind.
A year ago, I would have packed up the kids, gone to the event early and then cried on my husband's shoulder.
I'm so glad that I have learned to "cast my cares" upon God who can take them and carry them so that I can go on with my day!

Friday, August 17, 2012


I'm sure you've heard the saying "God is never late, he's always on time." Personally, as much as I know it is true; I hate that saying. I hate it.
However, I think that God tests us in this. He tests us in our trust and faith in his timing and provision. He does that with me anyway. Let me tell you another story of how he has worked things out for us.
You all know that we started our journey to Parma May 19 when we made an offer on a house. It was a short sale which is really code for "get your hopes up so they can be destroyed sale!" After 9 weeks, the bank decided not to sell us the house. Thus, we now live in a 750 square foot apartment.
After about 2 days in the apartment, I had to pray for God to change my heart. I tried to be grateful for at least being here, but I was stressed and cramped. I have mentioned before that God has told me that my testimony will be how he sustained me and yet again he has.
He has made opportunities for the kids and I to make memories. He has taught us how to teach our kids and shown us provision time and time again - and it's only been 19 days.
Thursday we looked at houses. We were going to look at one a second time and our realtor had 2 others to show us. When we walked into the first house (the second time house) I hated it. I couldn't get out fast enough. Then Lori took us to a house she'd found for us. It was actually one that I'd seen online and didn't pay attention too. It's the opposite of the original house we offered on in May! It needs some work (mostly just painting), but we loved it as soon as we walked in. We sat down with Lori to make our offer.
Here's the kicker(s). I finally decided on Monday/Tuesday to finish hanging pictures on the wall and unpack the last of the boxes. I was refusing to do anymore unpacking because I didn't want to live here long enough to worry about it. When I decided that I needed to live in a homey and peaceful place, God decided that he could move me out of it!
Not to mention, August 16 was our LAST paycheck from last school year. We have NO extra money coming in at the moment. Isn't it just like God to time things so that they can only work in his power! We can afford the house, don't get me wrong; but until I start working, we have 0 extra cash. Tonight, after waiting 24 hours, the sellers countered with an offer that we accepted. We qualify for an FHA loan which means the house will need to be inspected and certain things will have to be fixed. The seller offered to fix those things if we paid a little more money. This will save us from having to have a certified person take care of anything needed repaired.
I've gotten to the point with God, that I know if I can figure out a plan in my head, he'll make something else happen. If I can figure it out then I'm probably operating in my flesh and I'll get glory for it. When we let things happen according to his plan, we can't help but give Him the glory. I'm sure in about 6 weeks, I'll be very content with God's timing. Right now, I'm pretty sure he's shaking his head and reminding me that he has his own schedule!

Wednesday, August 15, 2012


I blogged before about the time God spoke to me about sustaining me and He truly has. I am notorious for running to someone when I have a problem or can't do something. Usually, that person is my husband and he shoulders it all quite well.
I've known for  a long time that God wanted to be the first person I ran to, but it was always so much easier to run to Jer. After Jer moved to Parma, I ran to my mom. Then came the days when they were both in staff meetings at the same time! I had no where else to go, but God!
While I don't have to worry about that as much because Jeremy and I live in the same place now, God spoke to me about it again this morning. The second half of Isaiah 46:4 says, "I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you. I will sustain you and I will rescue you."
He uses sustain twice in that verse. He also made me and will carry me. Sometimes I forget that God is in control and has ordered my steps.
If we walk in obedience and follow his will, he will carry us. He will get us to where we need to be and he will sustain us along the way!

Friday, August 10, 2012

the little things

Everyday, God amazes me with his blessings. He continually makes me aware that he's taking care of me and he knows, not only what I need, but also what I want.
When Jeremy and I first came to Parma for our interview, I looked up local food places. My favorite donuts are Krispy Kreme. There is no where in Kinsman to get them fresh. There's a Krispy Kreme a mile from our new church. Jeremy loves Chik-fil-a. There's one 5 minutes down the highway. These were two big signs that this was where God was sending us.
I'm learning now that I like things I didn't know I liked (does that make sense). For example, a garbage disposal is an AMAZING thing! I'm racking up fuel perks! I have ice cube trays in my freezer! I haven't had ice cube trays for 8 years because our water in Vernon was so gross. We don't have to buy water in bottles.
In the time that I worry or stress about driving in the "big city" or finding a house. My mind goes back to all of those little things that God has put in place just for me.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

changing my heart

Every time I pray about what to post here, God has me post something he's taught me. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm whining all of the time! I'm just in a season of a lot of learning! My heart is being changed in many ways as my type A/beaver personality is being pulled and stretched in more ways than I ever thought possible!
When Jeremy and I made the decision to leave Kinsman and come to Parma, I had to quit my job. It was way more difficult for me to walk away from teaching than it was for Jer. His calling is ministry and working in the church. I always felt that my calling was the public high school.
I prayed a lot about this as opportunities for this school year started popping up as I made the decision to leave. Some old professors wanted me to have a student teacher. I had just won a grant that provided my classroom with a great deal of technology. Other things popped up here and there. I remember praying and asking God about this. He spoke to my heart about the difference between opportunities for Him and opportunities for work - kind of a kingdom vs. earthy thing. I have clung to that moment.
Now that it's time for school to start, I MISS school. I drive by the high school here (one of the 3) and wonder what the teachers are doing and how they are getting ready. I envy my husband who will be teaching junior high in the school at our church.
God reminded me today of Philip and the Ethiopian in Acts 8. Philip was thriving in ministry in Samaria. There were crowds and miraculous signs. People were freed and healed. Then God moved him. It doesn't say why. It just says an angel came and told him to go down the road. So Philip left, and God led him to the Ethiopian who needed the scriptures explained to him. God led Philip to someone else who needed him.
I know that is what God has done. He has shifted us to a place with kingdom opportunities. This is where I am trying to focus my thoughts.
I've learned over the past month to just pray for God to change my heart. It is way easier for him to make my heart like his than it is for me to demand he make things the way I want them. I've learned that things God's way are better anyway. 

Friday, August 3, 2012

embracing the new

For those of you who know me, I do not embrace change of any kind. I don't like to change routine, my hair, my anything - let a lone my life. I thought that moving where God wanted me would nullify my resistance. Well, I'm not going to lie, I'm having a difficult time. Nothing here is the same. I know that is kind of a "duh" statement. The Walmart is laid out different.The drivethru's aren't the same.
I don't want to sound whiney. I know that I've posted a lot of struggles on here, but it is through this whining to God that he's been teaching me.
Today when I said, "God, even the Home Depot is new." He responded with Isaiah 43:19, "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." The thing is, He's doing this in my heart. He's providing me with a new heart in a way he couldn't any other way. He's spoken to my husband with an intimacy he never could have had. He's giving us opportunities that we would have never thought possible or that we would have even thought we would have wanted. He's doing a new thing in us. I am excited to see what that means for those around us as well!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

learning to be content

And here comes another lesson!
It has been a few days since I've blogged. Sunday we drove to Parma and back for church; Monday we moved to Parma; Wednesday I drove back home for a 31 party; I drove back to Parma. Today (actually about 15 minutes ago) God gave me a "put on your big girl pants" lesson.
I am thrilled, to say the least, to be under the same roof with my husband. I love being together, making him dinner, sleeping in the same town/county/building! I've also whined... a lot! I'll be totally transparent, I am NOT an apartment person. We are on the third floor. If I need to make multiple trips to the car, I have to get the kids together, lock the door, go downstairs, find my car - in a parking lot - climb the stairs carrying who knows what and usually a child, unlock the door to get back in. I don't mind the city. I'm starting to like it, actually. It's a little crazy, but I love that I can walk to anything (I won't, but I could if I wanted to).
I prayed a lot today on our way back to Parma for God to please give us a house. While we were standing on our balcony tonight, the kids were marveling at a squirrel. I was counting the beer cans the neighbors dropped off their balcony and on to the "yard." God reminded me of how much I whined in Farmdale. It was almost a "you're never happy with what I give you" feeling. Then I remembered Paul in Phillippians 4:12 "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." I have NOT learned this.
I did decide today that I don't want to be miserable everywhere I am and I've pretty much done that the last 6 weeks. So, from now on, I need to learn "the secret of being content in any and every situation."