When I first got married, I was still going to school full time. One morning, as I woke up and prayed for strength to get through my day, I realized I wasn't counting on Jesus to be my strength. I was counting on caffeine. I gave up coffee for a while. I have gone back and forth since then. However, after the birth of my second child, I've been an avid coffee drinker. When I found out I was pregnant in September, I worked to ween myself off again, only to go back to work full time and pick up the habit, yet again.
One morning, after my 2nd cup, I felt my blood pressure go up. I worked the rest of the day to drink water to try and get it out of my system, but by the time I went to bed; my legs were swollen up to my knees. I have up coffee and caffeine that day - cold turkey. I have had a few glasses of pop or cups of coffee to ward off migraines and crankiness, but I'm down to a cup/glass for each week. It's pretty much just a reward for making it through the week.
For the most part, it has been a battle of will and taste more than anything. I really, really like Coke-a-Cola over Sprite and Sierra Mist. But in the back of my mind, I remembered those days when I was so convicted. If God was my strength, how could I rely so heavily on something else to get through my day?
God told Paul in 2 Corinthians "'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness'" (12:19). He gives me each breath. He's given me the power to make it through each day.
Am I tired? Yes. Do I feel like I need coffee at 9:00 in the morning after I've been awake for 4 hours and was up 7 times (at least) putting kids back to bed or going to the bathroom? Yes. Are there days when I feel like this baby - Jackson - growing inside of me is sucking all of my energy? YES! However, I need to lean on Jesus. I need to trust his strength. He will sustain me. He will reward teh sacrifices I have made.
There are days when my husband and I pray for fast sleep. Fast sleep is when you get 6 hours worth of sleep in the 3 hours that you actually have to sleep. The thing is, God gives it to us because we depend on him for it. When we trust him to strengthen out minds and bodies, he does. His power is made perfect through us, when we are weak.