I think I've said this before... I hate new! I don't like to change. I like to have a routine - I thrive in routine. I like to eat the same things at restaurants. I just like it. We moved to Parma on July 30 and nothing has been routine since (hence the 11 days in between blogs).
I am a person that yearns to have things the same all the time. I like getting up at the same time and having a schedule.
This month has been crazy. Ben is sick. I started work. Volleyball has begun. I was so excited for this week because my work schedule would be consistent, school would be consistent, and until the end of October; volleyball would be consistent.
Well, first of all we had Monday off - a change. Tuesday worked. Wednesday, Ben's sick! I had to cancel a dr's appointment (at a NEW dr). Thursday, I had to call off work - my second day - and find a NEW pediatrician. Who knows what tomorrow will bring! Not to mention, on Wednesday I was craving the routine that will settle in next week and all of it changed too!
God gave me this verse today on the way home from the doctors. Isaiah 43:19 says, "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." And then, I'm sure he did this just to be funny, he also said, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him." (I Corinthians 2:9).
I know he's doing a new thing in me - he's completely changed my life! Sometimes I tell him, "I can't handle anymore new! Could something please remain the same?!?!" But how can he make away in the wilderness if we are doing things the way we always did them? How can he lay streams in the wasteland if he doesn't put us in the wasteland (although I'm not gonna lie - I DO NOT like the wasteland)? How will we find the new or what he has for us if we don't follow him?
My question to God today is how do I do it? How do I work in all of this new? How do I let go of my routines and let him change them when what I really, really want is stability? I guess he's trying to teach me all of that...